Headline News

HEADLINE NEWS                          Charli Wiggill

‘Darra-dada, Darra-dada, Darra-dada…

“These ees da News at ate
Presee dent Mbekee, jus bek from Pees Tocks
Sed Zim Bob wee wos on trek
 

Een hees spitch  ata relly in Mtata

She sed of So then Afreeka
‘Da Afreekan Rinay Sonns bee geens et hom’
 

A lokil sed, ‘Arwa dee monds are

Free dom een ebbon errors laaik Harrare
Da pee pulls is suffa reeng’
 

da rehality een da weld too day

Far too meny wee pons like AK47s
Itch and aviary sitizin wonts pis
 
Wekkas wont more mo nee for produk tee vee tee
Dey hed weds weeth da Meeneesta end
One striker wos bitten weeth a steek on hees hed
 
Een Johennes beg these mor neeng
A nother beeg beel ding wos con dem med

End to end on da spor teeng front
Da Cape to R10-00¹ Race was won by…”

 

¹ “The cape to R10 (ten rand) race” – This is quoted verbatim from a SABC3 News Broadcast a few years back and prompted the writing of this piece. Shame on the director (and not the news reader) who allowed this oversight without helping the news reader.